Disgusting

The Yankees disgusting and horrible performance these past two games had me thinking. of things we need to improve for '09. Without further adieu...

1. Starting pitching. I feel like sitting down to watch the Yankees is like sitting in the dentist's chair awaiting a root canal with no anestetic. How can a team with a $209 million payroll trot out Darrell Rasner, Sidney Ponson and Carl Pavano in games that matter? It is disgusting.

2. Centerfield. Melky is obviously not the answer. He'd be a great fourth outfielder. They need to sign someone for two years. Someone who can hit and throw, someone who can hold it down until one of our prospects EARNS the job. We can't give jobs away anymore.

3. First base. First base has been atrocious since we signed Giambi. Now with Posada's shoulder in question, it is impossible for the Yankees to go out and sign Texeira, unless they want to stick Posada at DH for the rest of his career. The Yankees can only hope he regains the pop he had in 2007.

4. Second base. The Yankees really need to straighten out Robinson Cano. How did he regress so badly? All you hear is Larry Bowa stayed on him. But did Bowa really make that much of a difference? It appears Cano's lack of plate discipline and poor approach have made him regress. I think that Bowa stuff is way overblown. Cano needs to learn to make adjustments. It wouldn't surprise me if Cano was traded in the offseason, if a team offered young starting pitching.

5. RF? Do they keep Abreu? If they can for two years, you have to. He's leading the team in RBI. He's not the best outfielder, but he gets the job done. Anything more than two years, I'd be a little leery.

6. Catcher. It's obvious that Pudge is done. Molina is possibly the best backup in the game. But what happens if Posada can't catch. You probably have to bring back Pudge.

7. Reshape the offense. The Yankees are the anti-Angels, a team with poor baserunning, poor fundamentals and seemingly no baseball instincts. They don't do any of the little things needed to win baseball games.

Don't you remember when the Yankees used to field teams like the Rays and Angels that had a shutdown rotation, solid bullpen and an offense with the killer instinct to hit and run, bunt, hit big HRs and get clutch base hits? That was 10 years ago...

I'm not sure they can do any of these things this offseason. We'll find out. They'll probably make a huge run at Sabathia, probably try to get Teixeira. We'll see.

I think that's it for now. I'm done venting. Oh, and A-Rod could learn to not be psychotic in a big spot and hit the damn ball.

Pranks are fun

I don't even need to introduce this-- except, this is the best prank of all time.

Click and enjoy.

We stink

I haven't really commented on the state of the team, only because this season has been really, really boring.

Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy turned out to be complete busts with the injuries, two guys who were supposed to stretch out their innings limits and anchor the 2009 rotation.

Melky has a gun but no bat. Cano canno-t do anything right (at least lately he's picked it up, predictably because he's a second half player). Olhendorf has sucked, and Girardi has been jerking him around in roles (reliever, long reliever, short reliever, AAA starter). Hawkins sucks.

In fact there are only really two stories that have been really intriguiing since the start of the season. Joba Chamberlain finally transitioning into the rotation, and Mike Mussina's amazing resurgence. I suppose that Damon's performance has been a pleasant surprise as well.

What's amazing to me in particular though is the incomptency with runners in scoring position. It seems that since Boston plastered us in the '04 ALCS, we just stopped getting the big hits in the really big spots. Outside of A-Rod's amazing performance in the 9th inning last year, our offense has sucked at really getting the big hits and doing what it needs to do to win games.

And I honestly don't think Girardi has made that much of a difference this year. In fact, I think the only difference between Girardi and Torre is the absurd lineups Girardi tries to throw out every other day. Girardi is a little easier on the bullpen than was Torre, but he still has his favorites for wins and favorites for losses.

Oh well. Hopefully this Roberston kid pans out, and Melky starts hitting. If the Melkman doesn't deliver soon, Brett Gardner and Austin Jackson better be prepared. I mean, the CF for the New York Yankees is batting .240.

Is Bernie officially retired yet?

That's it I guess. I don't think the season is lost by any stretch. I think if they get ballsy and bring up Melancon in September, and have a bullpen of Veras, Robertson, Melancon, Farns, a hopefully improved Ohlendorf, we can be dangerous. I'm sorry, but Edwar and Hawkins need to go.

I'm pretty beat and I'm rambling.

Hopefully, I'll post something more entertaining and hopefully post more often.

Yankees vs. Reds 6/20

Went to the game last night, which was pretty ugly. Not much to say, except that Giambi is terrible at first base, Cano screws up the easy plays and Edinson Volquez is pretty good.

Oh, and there were about 10,000 Reds fans in the place. Unreal.

There also happened to be six of them sitting directly in front of us, along with a hardcore Yankees fan from Penn State.

Check out this video I took of these jackasses arguing over who has a better team.

Greetings from Cardinal Country

Dear home,

I miss you dearly. I was just at Busch Stadium, home of the St. Louis Cardinals, where beer costs the same as in Yankee Stadium, and the fans are astonishingly bad. Here are some highlights:

-Miguel Tejada came over to where I was standing over the Astro's dugout. Excitedly, I asked Mr. Tejada to sign my ticket stub. Before he grabbed my ticket, I unfortuntely asked him another question.

"How old are you again, Mr. Tejada?"

The other fans did not find my heckling amusing. Neither did Mr. Tejada, who I suspect uttered profanities in Spanish.

Needless to say, I didn't get my ticket stub signed. Nor did I get the laughs I definitely would have gotten at Yankee Stadium.


Fans in St. Louis are about as rowdy as Sarah on the Real World is ugly. There was zero booing. They cheer for their team, and that's about it. When I screamed "SUCKS" after every name of the opposing lineup was announced, I received awkward stares instead of snickers and applause.

In fact, the only boo I heard all night was during the seventh inning stretch, when two drunk assholes played air guitar for tickets to a future game. The loser was booed, for approximately three seconds. It was almost a polite boo. I assure you that both of these two men would have been excoriated by the fans for their awful display of air guitaring.

Seriously, though. I miss New York. I miss when fans boo fans who can't catch foul balls.

-Albert Pujols hit a homerun in the seventh inning to put the Cards up, 3-1. Fireworks went off and scared the shit out of me (Fireworks? Really?). Fans did not even get up. Pujols received a polite round of applause for the long ball, and that was that. Really.

-It actually was a really beautiful ballpark. Makes me wonder how the new stadium is going to feel. Once I figure out how to get pics off my phone, I'll upload some of the cool ones.

April Fool's Day

I know I'm late with this, but I had to post. My co-workers got me good on April Fool's Day this year, and they finally got around to posting it on YouTube. They switched my car keys with my coworker's keys. Keep in mind we both drive Mazda 3's and have the exact same keys.

When watching this, keep in mind that it probably would have taken you longer to figure it out. Enjoy.

It's been a long time...

Been just a little over a month since my last post. It's gonna be a little while longer until I actually write something entertaining. Just got back from The Jersey Shore for Memorial Day Weekend... well I got back on Sunday because I caight a terrible flu. Hoping I will be able to make it to work tomorrow.

Anyway, here are some pictures of some of the people I saw...

And a video, courtesy of guidofistpump.com